Thursday, October 26, 2006

You Might Be a Mid-Town Elitist If...

As I wrote the previous blog entry, I kept thinking how helpful it might be for all those Mid-Towners who think they're not elitists to have some help from the rest of us in identifying their tendencies. So, marshalling a helpful spirit...and with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy...I offer the following 20 indicators that you might be a Tulsa Mid-Town Elitist:
  1. You think Edison is a suburban High School.
  2. Instead of a cracked foundation, you have a charitable foundation.
  3. You have an 18th Century Louis XIV settee and a 10 year old, stainless steel Sub-Zero on the front acreage.
  4. If instead of a discount retail chain, you think Big Lots are what you build your mansions on.
  5. If you call your closest circle of friends, “My Brunch Bunch.”
  6. If you only venture south of I-44 to attend a Southern Hills board meeting.
  7. If the closet your cousin came out of couldn’t hold all of your fur coats.
  8. If you never go to Woodland Hills Mall, because you fear gang activity.
  9. If your Shih Tzu has a Louis Vitton doggie bag.
  10. If you think Darla Hall is a dormitory or a private school.
  11. If you know why wearing white isn’t an option at Miss Jackson’s wedding.
  12. If you think making a Major League roster pales in comparison to making the Junior League roster.
  13. If you call the local Arch-Bishop “Poppie” and he calls you “Skeeter.”
  14. If your last name is a first name and your first name is hyphenated.
  15. If you think the new network series “The Nine” is about last year’s “bickering” City Council.
  16. If your favorite ball cap is from Queenie’s.
  17. If your wife’s pet name is Betty, but her REAL name is Muffin.
  18. If you don’t watch NASCAR because there are no “Beemers.”
  19. If you’re in the Tulsa Hall of Fame but most Tulsans don’t know who you are.
  20. If you think the people in Tulsa People are the only people in Tulsa, you might be a Mid-Town Elitist.

Feel free to add your own.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just back in town, I read your stuff about "Mid Town Elitists. I agree with you about the people pushing The Channels being Elitists, and they do sort of live in Mid Town. But I have lived in Mid Town for almost forty years, and I know a lot of other folks who live here. I am not an Elitist and neither are these other folks. We are hard-working, conservative Tulsa citizens. I think that your position, Chris, is one of the reasons that you are now an ex politician, or ex public servant....whatever. I don't even consider you a Tulsan. And you may think you are a populist, but, to most Mid Towners, you are just a bottom feeding blowhard. But: keep up the good work, nipping at these elitists, wherever they may be! And we will continue to work and vote in Mid Town, where we continue to elect Republican representatives.

Chris Medlock said...

Dear Nameless-Genderless-Faceless-But-Not-Elitist Mid-Towner,

Thanks for stopping by. One question, though. You say you don't even consider me a Tulsan, despite my being born, raised [much of it in Mid-Town], educated a currently residing in Tulsa.

Picking who and who is not a Tulsan...how does that not make you an elitist?

Sorry...just blowin' hard, you know.

Anonymous said...

Yours is a good point....I was raised in OkieCity. None of my relatives there are ever comfortable being in Tulsa. We are just too much for them. Despite their Bricktown and its faux river and a lot of extra money from the federal and state coffers, OKC can't do what Tulsa is capable of doing, all by ourselves....as I said, keep up the good work!!

Anonymous said...

hey, we have some of those elitists in south tulsa too.

our family probably has more money than many of them put together but we don't 'advertise' it.

i have a few words to describe those elitists:

shallow

boring

reeking of expensive perfume that makes you nauseous.

driving around in their beemers that break down all the time.

not rich enough to carry real leather because they tote around those plastic purses that look like they were made with melted down pvc pipe.

now THIS is a really rich person - see this article titled "the major"

http://meeciteewurkor.com/wp/2006/09/27/the-major/#more-1597

my kinda hero............

BlackBlogger said...

That is hilarious. That is so true, especially about the old Beemers (and other assorted old eurocars). I am a BTW grad but I was a Northsider and I prefer my old Mitsu. Hasn't broken on me yet.