David Ad-verill

Many thanks to Michael Bates, who even from the road, deftly but briefly pokes push pins in the gaseous editorial by David Averill of the Tulsa World.



Entitled "The Anti-Growth Agenda," Mr. Averill demonstrates a better grasp of the surreal than Salvador Dali or Rene' Magritte ever did. Admittedly, there are no melting pocket watches or trains racing out of the livingroom hearth, but still, if one reads Mr. Averill's piece armed with the actual facts, one catches themself reading and re-reading his prose to reassure oneself that they did, indeed, read it right the first time.

To believe Mr. Averill, State Sen. Randy Brogdon of Owasso, the former mayor of that town and a man who walked Tulsa's westside neighborhoods for me during my last election, really attended a press conference with the mayor of Tulsa and other state legislators, in order to keep me and Jim Mautino in office so that we can subvert Tulsa's development to the betterment of Owasso.

That would mean that Sen. Brogdon, a deeply religious and honorable man, let alone public servant, would have had to have lied when he called the efforts of the Coalition for Responsible Government "selfish" people who don't respect our nation's principles.

Not only that, he would have to be aided by Sens. Pruitt and Mazzei of Broken Arrow and Bixby, as well as numerous suburban state representatives, while simultaneously plotting to stand next to Tulsa legislators like Sen. James Williamson and Rep. Fred Perry, who apparently aren't as shrewed as their suburban counterparts and mistakenly think we're worth keeping in office for the good of the city. That, or they are really representing Tulsa districts, but want to see the city fall into ruin for the same mystical reasons that Jim Mautino and I are apparently trying to subvert Tulsa's growth. Gosh we must all be some really spiteful elected officials.

So what gives? Is Averill's editorial really a waste of newsprint as Michael Bates purports? Does a man who is supposedly granted the honor of writing each Sunday's front page, above the fold editorial really believe his own convolutions?

Probably not. At least I hope not.

It is likely that Averill wrote the piece on the direction of the publisher. It wasn't really even intened to be read in whole. Rather it serves as a half-page, four color advertisement to grease the skids for the faltering recall petition process. After using the prefix "anti" twelve times to my count, including in the headline, the reader needs to do no more than look at the heading, the subhead listed in the photo above, and to see the picture of me with my mouth agape (which is a refreshing change from the "sneer" and/or "smurk" that the prefer to usually feature).

One can almost hear the Michigan State underclassmen, who are earning beer money for Ladies' Night at the local watering hole by making recall calls to the voters of Districts 2 and 6, saying, "Yes sir, I know you've told me twenty times this week that you don't support the recall, but did you see that really compelling photo of the cartel leader with his mouth agape on the front page of your Tulsa World's opinion section? Can you really justify keeping a man who is so apparently incapable of breathing through his nose as your representative in City Hall?"

The World can spin that they're not for recall, but those who breathe the air here on earth, rather than the murky atmospheric mix of David Averill's home planet, know better.

That wasn't an opinion piece...it was a free advertisement for the CfRG2004. David, you're not much of an opinion writer, but you're an even worse copy writer.